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I have published my 1st book of poetry with illustrations. It went live on April 24, 2006. You are welcome to order my book at freedomroadsbooks.com. Thank you!
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Moving Pictures
08/15/03
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Passing, passing, moving away
So many colors, so many feelings along the way
Movement, movement, so much rolling by
Why do I still think of you and how do I identify
What these feelings are, and why do I still feel them like I do
A mere passage in time, so long ago, still centering around you
But there you are, I still see you, I see you like yesterday
Like a bittersweet movie playing, in some distant matinee
You're still moving oh so slowly in your usual sensual style
How I wish you could jump off the screen and stay with me awhile
So familiar is the scene I see replayed in hues of gray
How I feel you with desire, thoughts roll in then fade away
Your voice, your face, your eyes, how you walk, your subtle sway
Do you ever feel my thoughts of you, so powerful and so strong
Can you hear my words speak out to you in the lyrics of a song
Can you feel the days of autumn, many colors bright with rhyme
Does it speak in moving pictures about a meaningful period in time
Unfortunately, I don't think so; your meaning was not the same
Your thrill was not in feelings; your thrill was in the game
Still passing, so many colors, still longing just for you
Why these feelings, many feelings, want to stop and change the view
Will this movie just keep rolling like a button stuck in play
Will I ever find the reasons why other days are like today
What is it about you that stays deep inside my mind
I can't eject you from my memory yet, just won't move past rewind
Many colors moving past me, it's an autumn kind of day
Breathtaking beauty all around I see, but blue is on the way
Want the moving pictures to stop rolling, don't want to feel this way again
But, I guess as long as I still feel, the passion will remain
And I imagine as long as "longing" doesn't keep away someone new
Than the movie will remain the same, even though the role was meant for you
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The Tides Of March
08/25/03
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Tides moving, move me from shore to sea
To a distant land of what is now gone, and what has come to be
Tides rushing, rolling, then flowing away
Away, like dusk, what is endless night, gone yet another day
Washing away many moments, once captured, gone like erosion in the sand
Many memories, many grains, now flow freely from my hand
I wish to see, to touch the dark, to feel its calm, to quiet the soul,
Quiet me, hide my thoughts from all conscience of role
Feeling only the mystery of the unknown
Holding the hand of the child all grown
Quite the crimson, quiet the night
Quiet the mind from all noise and light
Peace and calm, not a distraction in sight
I am here, hear me, hear my plea
As I stand ashore allowing only the tides to move me
Move me, move me to some distant shore and sea
Away, away from all that binds and begs to restrain me
I wish to flow, flow for another chance
A whispering prayer, an angelic dance
To be new with all I hold within me
The freedom to create, a chance to just be
A single grain tossed out into the deep dark sky
Without knowledge of purpose or reason why
away from the temperamental pulse of the wind and sea
Fresh again, anew, full of opportunity to just be
To flourish within the realm of why I was created you see
To finally nurture the birth of all that is me
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A Father's Child
09/05/03 |
How could this all have happened and how can I explain
Such a feeling of deep sorrow
Such a feeling of deep pain
My child, my child how I loved you so,
Just to hear you and to see you, I shall never let you go
Wishing you were near me, this is where you ought to be
Such a silent blame and burden hidden deep inside me
My child, sweet child, my child my name
Without you here, things can never be the same
I wish I could reverse what happened on that very tragic day
For if I could I surely would and these words I'd never say
"My child, My child, how can this be so
You are gone forever now, but I shall never let you go"
It's with a burdened heart that I shall feel and live but one more day
With only angels now to greet and guide you on your way
But I shall look up towards the heavens, and place you name upon a Star
And call it out to the entire world so near, so loud, so far
It is your name I shall call and it is your name I shall say
Upon each and every breath I breathe and sigh I heave each day
And as I look up towards the heavens, it is your star I shall see
Shining brightly in the distance smiling down on top of me
With a heavy heart I will look up towards the skies and I'll shall say
I'm so sorry and so saddened things turned out to be this way
And they will smile upon my broken heart, as they pray for me you see
And whisper: "Your son is loved here too, this is where he ought to be
You did what you could do for him; you did it all so right
for it's a loving farther like yourself, that feels your loss tonight.
So rest your tired, weary soul, and let forgiveness get you through
and remember he was lucky to have had a farther just like you.
So free your soul from any guilt, self-doubt, and any shame
and know it's time to free yourself from any burden and blame
For you're our child too, my son, our blessed child as well
You must continue to move forward, in this pain you must not dwell
For you have a purpose in this life and in this life's where you must stay
Allowing others there to love you and ease you on your way
For Fate will always throw another curve ball from behind
But no matter how it swings at you, it's there to help remind
You, that your only human my dear child, and you can't control it all
Remember their is meaning and a message when you fall
And keep in mind my dear sweet child; that someone else does feel your pain
And remember your world and the universe, are not one-and-the-same
Others need you too, to help them each get through
So stop and listen to their pain and what they're going through
Your strength and wisdom will make a difference to the world in which you see
We are all connected in this life; it's how it's meant to be
We're in this all together; you don't have to feel so alone
There's so much love for you to feel and it all begins at home
So as you look up towards the skies tonight, gaze up and you will see
The biggest and brightest of the stars, the one shining down on thee
For it's your child, our child, and he remembers your love you see
The memory of a good and loving dad, his father, your legacy"
In memory or a NYC Police Officer's 5-year old son who was accidentally
shot by officer's gun while playing with weapon on September 2, 2000
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Trapped
09/21/03
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Clocks, time, time is ticking away
The road has come up to meet me, I wonder which way
Trapped, could this be the life I've imagined and mapped
It is dark. It is still.
Stuck somewhere between obligation and free-will
Like sandpaper going against the grain
I am flowing down one singular vain
Moving, spiraling downward without a direction
Searching, desperately searching for some type of connection
The photo album, what once was, a life all gone
So I fall back, back into the night, back into dawn
To the beginning, where there was once sun and light
It was a road, I was driving, unaware of the encroaching night
There is a key, it is of my own design
I have opened the box deep inside my mind
I desire more and I won't be taken for less
Slipping, spiraling downward from calm to mess
Trapped, could this be the life I've imagined and mapped
It is dark. It is still.
Stuck somewhere between obligation and free-will
How did I get here, blinding memories steal my sight
I fell, fell backwards reaching for what was right
Adversity, security, money, all are taking their toll
Many years spent reaching, yielding to a restless soul
I am still, but the scales have become tilted I see
Like a sodden wildflower, my petals have become wilted on me
But I am alive, alive like the sun rising from the sea
Energy and vision flowing in and out of me
Floating, suspended between walls of freedom and constrains
Reaching for the future while the past still remains
I see a mosaic. It is still.
Stuck somewhere between obligation and free-will
Gliding ever so slowly towards the encroaching light
Undecided
Realizing that contempt and free-will shall move me
When the moment is right.
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Horizon Blue
09/21/03
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Walking, walking, sand sifting through my toes
Wishing to sift out the memories, so much to expose
How did I come to exist, why am I here
Getting older and older, so much to fear
Does it all mean something, what's it all about
It's all such a puzzle, too hard to figure out
So many turns and hills I must always climb
So much baggage to carry, nowhere to unwind
Tears from the past, fears for the future, looking for another door
Crossing over to a new horizon dreaming, once again once more
No relief from the sun, too hot to carry on
Many rainbows are passing, once bright, now gone
I long for a love that I once knew
My Anthony B. of Scarlet sky and Horizon Blue
How I wish I could finally kiss and hold you tonight
I hold only a memory, if only the timing was right
You opened the doors and I finally came out
Neither one of us knew what this was about
Such an important time to be alive to see
Deep feelings of love and passion you aroused in me
Not even you could know or even begin to see
How you released my spirit once locked up deep inside me
I will never forget you for only because of this
So many feelings alive inside me, it is this I will miss
Time and space now separate our souls from ever touching again
I ask if there's a chance this will ever happen again
As I look across the sea in search of my Horizon Blue
I'm wishing and hoping you feel me thinking of you
No relief from the sun, too hot to carry on
Yes I've come so far, many rainbows now gone
Do you think of me sweet Anthony ever holding your hand
Or has my memory become buried like shells in the sand
Yes I'm stronger now, but so much still remains
A fleeting moment in time still stealing life from my veins
So many questions to ask, so much to discover and know
Many memories still holding with no place to go
How do I get to where the Horizon meets to sea to rest
You're so far away, now an illusion at best
As I walk, the sand now cools my hot tired feet
Soft music in the distance so melodic and sweet
A cool breeze now sweeps past my sun-warmed face
I realize I'll leave here someday without barely even a trace
I look out towards the water for my Horizon Blue
For to search for this Anthony, is to search for you
But like all other encounters that fill our lives over and over again
They last as long as we feel a power and connection to them
For I believe life's more meaningful to have had these memories than not
How dead life would be without something to hold and love a lot
It's like that cherished doll or favorite childhood toy
No matter how badly weathered, in our hearts, it still brings us joy
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Goodbye
10/07/03 |
Oh. Many years have come and gone
Mostly broke, standing in some welfare line
Fighting and screaming over every nickel and dime
Shaking and throwing our life around
You shut me down, you just shut me down
You don't know me, you've forgotten how
You just shut me down, throwing my life around
Wanna walk away, wanna break away
I'm still standing here, but change is on it's way
Oh. Once there was a girl in love
She had dreams, it was you and me
Eventually she discovered it just wasn't meant to be
I believed, but you became disconnected from me,
disconnected from me
Sometimes I don't know how I feel
Sometimes I look towards tomorrow and see a brand new day
And then you hit me, then you kiss me
You just don't stop.Ohh change on it's way
Your eyes wide open but you just don't see
Oh. Change is a coming, it's something brand new
Wanna stop standing, standing in circles around you
You're losing me, you're losing me
Your eyes wide open, but you just don't see
Your cruel laughter, your public humiliation
All your tough talking, all your talking down to me
I look at you and can't figure out what I see
It's just another day not knowing what I'm facing
It's just another day not knowing what's gonna be
You shut me down, you just shut me down
You don't know me, you've forgotten how
You just shut me down, throwing my life around
The children laugh, the children cry
Anger and confusion, it's seems it's all about you
Go ahead, justify and then tell my why
I wanna hear you, I wanna hear you tell me what to do
Oh. Change is a coming, it's gonna be brand new
Gonna stop standing, standing in circles around you
Gonna walk away, gonna break away, gonna live for me
Oh. She had dreams, it was you and me
Eventually she discovered it just wasn't meant to be
I believed, but you became disconnected from me,
disconnected from me
Now you've lost me, you've lost me
Many years, your eyes wide open and you just didn't see
You just didn't see.
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The Wish
01/02/04 |
I am riding the rain
Slowly numbing like a needle to my vain
Been pushing the wind for so very long
Shaking the odds, but the mix is all wrong
Fighting the numbness, my spirit wails
Yet he maneuvers the wind behind his sails
Gliding like a warrior he tramples my dreams
My intentions, my energy, are amiss it seems
The cry of the wind, the serge of the storm
One pulse, one thought, in malevolent form
Explaining, reasoning, I can even ask
But self will and control remain on task
So I see it, smell it. I can touch the hate
I realize this dilemma could be my fate
I wish for a voice so soft to my ears
To guide my emotions, finances, and fears
I wish for a dream so long overdue
But the wish in this dream does not include you
It is of my children, our souls, where we all are free
Embracing our dreams as WE WISH them to be
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The Ivory Highway
01/12/04 |
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Walking the ashen highway, the highway of ivory and stone
I hear my heart beating, yes steady, but it beats alone
Funny how cold the road is, my feet bare to the bone
Light pours down my shoulders, my back and auburn hair
I swear I've been here once before, I've been here in a prayer
Walking the ivory highway, moving, but I'm not yet there
There is no beginning or ending it would seem
My hands grow heavy; I turn and there is a gleam
It is surreal, is it what has been in a comforting blissful dream
In my hands, a crystal orb and a gleaming pearl
One, my radiant little boy, the other, my precious little girl
Carrying the weight amidst a rose-colored sky and sea
Because glistening out there somewhere is a place for my children and me
I will never stop wanting and wishing the best for each, you see
On foot, the ivory highway comes to a rise and I glimpse within my mind
Many pathways discovered, much to uncover and find
Walking, I almost feel the need to create and dance the rhythm blind
A joyful beat now summons my heart along the highway of ivory and stone
I am happy my heart is beating steady, and I now choose to walk alone
Grateful that innovation blossoms in the beautiful unknown
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A Hypnotic Trance
01/25/04
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Thoughts stirring, swirling, too tired to mind
Depression and a myriad of temptations I find
There is a ringside fight, and may the winner take all!
The showdown begins the day we are born
An awakening of the senses when we're young and small
Deprivation and influence by those wealthy and tall
So little, we process the hollow flow of the dance
Unaware of we've been captured in its hypnotic trance
Enticing us as it grabs us by our body and soul
Throwing us into the ravages of an expectant goal
Knocking us around, still listening to its spellbinding sound
Realizing age has arrived and SUCCESS is not around
Once again depleted, we've come full circle we see
Why am I here? Who am I? What has happened to me?
A whirlwind of debt swarms in like a tropical storm
Sadly, safe haven now awaits us in paddle form
When do we realize there's no ceiling on "having it all"?
And, SUCCESS does not soothe the bruising when we fall
So, we walk silently away
Tongue-in-cheek about how we got this way
Ego and pride pressed firmly to our back
Excusing and blaming for what we encompass and lack
Mystified, we forgot how we've simply lost track
So little, we process the hollow flow of the dance
Unaware of we've been captured in its hypnotic trance
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The Spirit Within
02/07/04 |
A drop in the well, ringlets encircling, spiraling tranquilly away
Tired and weary from the disillusions of the day
Wondering what other tomorrows will bring
Want to hide inside, never again, let out one single thing
Never want to believe or dream the dream again
Wishing for a another day, another way out of the pain
Broken hearts, broken wings, vulnerable and afraid
In a time, treading proudly over plans once laid
How would you know or even begin to understand
What strengths and sacrifices it took to arrive at where I now stand
I've never made promises lightly, some I've broken along the way
I made a promise to myself, "I will live my dream one day"
"And I will not allow anyone to take that away."
A drop in the well, humble steps taken, less in vain, but nonetheless wearing
A cold world, cruel in their laughter, shunning, mocking, and uncaring
But, I will advance past the judgment, the criticism, and reign in one day
A single droplet of water, ringlets encircling, spiraling tranquilly away
I may not have done it today, but you will come to realize
I kept my promise and I did it my way
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